I was talking with a friend and she made a comment in passing about her situation. She used the phrase “this is not like me.” What does that mean, like me?
So that started my brain going. What do I mean when I say like me? Does that mean like I have been? Who is me?
If we define me as the person I’ve been until now, that technically means me is the person I was in the past. Newsflash. I'm never going to be the same version of me that I was in the past. Each day is unlike the previous. My experience increases. I learn and grow. My circumstances change. My emotions fluctuate, as do my responses to them and the way I process.
We’re never the same person we were yesterday, and I think that's a good thing.
Has someone ever said to you “That’s not like you”? What do we think they mean by that? Ooh, now I go on the defense. What do you mean like me? Am I supposed to fit in some mold where you decide if my behaviors are either like me or unlike me, and by the way, who said there are only two options?
Let’s get back on track. Here’s where I remind myself the only approval I need is my own. Coming back to center…
I find my thoughts and actions to be surprising and often unpredictable - in a good way. I will make a bold statement here: I am unlike the me I used to be. I used to self-sabotage and criticize myself. Self-loathe and lose control of my emotions, and beat myself up along the way for all of it! I don’t do that now. I’m not that same person; I’m stronger than I used to be. I’m practicing my skills and using tools, working to be self-aware and reflective and kind and nonjudgmental. I’m becoming a better version of me every day. A little bit different, a little bit better.
I continue to grow, continue to build myself, but not because I’m trying to get some predefined outcome. I'm not growing or working on myself because I'm trying to get to good enough. I'm already good enough. I'm doing it because I deserve to do it.
And you do too.
Hilary
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